"I got me a saloon-keeper I want to put
out of business!""You rang, master?" It were Joe-Bob "Gimme-coin" Coyne, Esq., ethics-free lawyer of choice to the rich and ruthless. "Who do you want to destroy today?"
"I got me a saloon-keeper I want to put
out of business!"
"Do we want to sue her and get her to settle for the nuisance value? Or do we want to drag her down to Amarillo and make her life as miserable as one'a your sick cows?" Coyne questioned.
"I think I want Miss. Oprah to come down with a serious case of Downer Cow Syndrome! Git her hiney into Amarillo!"
"Now remember, I have to do this carefully so that it looks like we have reasonable cause to sue her," Coyne cautioned.
"You mean, you gotta do some of
that legal research?"
"No, I mean I gotta be sure you can pay my bill...!"
"I don't care how much money it
costs! I aim to teach 'em a lesson that even when they beat me, they still lose!" cackled
the wicked old fart. "So here, take a sample of what
makes this country great!"
"That may not be enough, Mr. Engler. Remember, I got one little problem of having the Constitution I gotta torpedo."
"Nuke it, ol' buddy! I'm gona get dressed and go talk to my cattle cronies, and we're gonna have us an Oprah bar-bee-cue!"
